DNF Swim

The first thing I learned about this DNF swim is that there is nothing funny to write in the race report.  It is really, not a race report when you Did Not Finish.  There is nothing funny to write about because after whatever struggle I went through, I ended by wimping out, giving up, throwing in the towel.  There's nothing funny in that, unless of course you're a mean person and laugh at my expense...

"Race Report":
The swim was scheduled to start at 9:30.  I woke up at 5:15 and started to get ready.  The plan was to leave at 6:30 in order to have enough time to drive the 50 miles and not rush into the swim.  Unfortunately I got us lost, and drove an extra 30 miles to get to the event.  We arrived around 8:30 or so.  We got there just in time to see the Ironman distance (2.4 miles) swimmers go out; then the Sprint distance swimmers (.6 miles).  Each of those groups got to warm up; but when it was our turn, the life guard team did not want any more people in the water because they had too many people to keep track of and their 'head count was off'. 

A group of us tried to go in the water, and before we were kicked out I had put my full body into the water and water started coming into my suit through my neck.  My first thought is 'I'm gonna drown!" (This reaction was based on a race report that I read at some point where the person swam and the water rushed into her wetsuit, causing her to sink and need to be rescued..) 

The swim was a Half Ironman distance - 1.2 miles.  I signed up thinking that I will get a baseline of what I need to work on, so I can be ready for my HIM in October.  The race director pointed out the tiny triangle buoy that we had to swim out to, make a left and then go to the next triangle shaped buoy and make another left back to shore.  They also instructed us to keep the buoys on our left, and that we had to pay attention to the currents because they would make us drift.  They instructed us to point ourselves to a landmark on shore.  I was very confident at this point.  I've played pool and ping pong I thought to myself - I'm good at estimating angles, shooting at moving targets in video games - you have to aim ahead of your moving target.  I felt bad for the Ironman and Sprint distance swimmers who were already out in the lake, some were clearly not sighting well and were way off course.  I wasn't sure how this could happen if we received such clear instructions?

Just before we were about to start, I knelt in the water and splashed water on my face and over my head onto my neck.  I was  a supplicant blessing myself with the waters of the lake.  I did actually pray and thank the water for allowing me to be there, but maybe not strong enough or loud enough.  That short, slightly frantic time  kneeling in the lake was the last time I had no fear.

We went into the water, and I held back and stayed to my right so as to not get caught up in the frenzy.  This was all planned based on my limited swimming race experience, and extensive reading about other people's experiences and their suggestions.  I was mellow.  This was not a competitive swim for me.  This was my plan, and I was following it.  I got into the water, but I couldn't see anything underwater.  Right away I was hyperventilating.  I could not put my face into the water because I was breathing so fast.  The water temperature was 60 degrees.  It did not feel that bad in my torso or feet, because they were all covered in the wetsuit and booties.  Still, I could not catch my breath.  I was trying to go as slow as I possibly could, but .  In the pool when I'm doing well, I breathe every 5th stroke.  When I'm getting tired or am going too fast, I breathe every 3rd stroke.  Here, I could not catch my breath.  I was breathing too fast to even muster a complete stroke underneath the water.  It is very scary to put your face in the water when you are breathing fast.   Why on earth am I doing triathlons to begin with; what was I thinking?!?  No more tris for me, it's duathlons from here on out.  No more swimming.  I doggie paddled a good part of the way - trying to move forward while I rested; alternating with 'swimming' on my back - not using my arms, just my legs to kick.

When in a pool, you have the floor of the pool, the lane dividers, the room itself that the pool is in to give you a sense of movement forward.  I had been practicing swimming with my eyes closed in the pool, opening them up only to sight but I forgot to keep my eyes closed in the lake, so I had them wide looking into the dark grey waters with little specks floating by.  In the middle of the lake, the shore is fairly far away, so it's hard to gauge your movement.  On my back, well forget it.  On a different day, it may have been a nice relaxing floating on my back with only the clear blue sky up above; very serene, very calm.  On this day, however all I was really paying attention to was my feet kicking;  I was using the cloud formations/plane trails as my arrow to point me in the right direction.  Not serene, not calm.  I could not see any land.

I got slightly more than 1/4 of the way through before I bailed out.  That 1/4 mile or so was the most difficult swim I have ever done in my life. 

What I learned:

All the book knowledge in the world, can't take the place of actual experience.

What I need to work on:

1) swimming in open water
2) sighting
3) dealing with not being able to tell that you are moving forward
4) being afraid of the dark/accepting that there is no monster in the deep part of the lake/ there are no dead bodies...