Personal Best!

Well, I did it - I beat the 10mm pace in the 4 mile race this morning - 9:57 to be exact. I am very proud of that. I have put a lot of effort into the cross training, strength work and, of course, running. The heart rate monitor helped to keep me focused although it is good that I am a techophile. There were too many numbers on the screen, most of which I did not know what they were. I was able to get the screen that had my average pace and just focused on that.

Al Gordon Classic 4 mile

Tomorrow, I will be running in the Al Gordon 4mile race in Prospect Park. I am planning on biking before the race. I want to bike at least 10 miles, but ideally I would like to bike 20 miles. Twenty miles is 6 loops of the park, which should take me 15-16 minutes per loop - so about 1 1/2 hours. I'm hoping that time per loop is less now that I have been doing the biking in the Computrainer as well as the spinning classes.
Right now, it is 10:15 pm, the night before this race. Just came back from walking the dogs and it is frigid cold right now. I have set out my clothes, and my gu gels. I want to take it easy on the bike - 'zone 2'; and I want to be able to do less than an 11mm pace in the run. I am confident I can do that in the run but what is disturbing me is that I really want to go less than a 10 mm, which I don't think I'm ready for yet. Still, it is gnawing at the back of my mind. I want to treat this as a training event, not a race. I will need to keep this in mind as I am running. I am running with my heart rate monitor, so this is an added ingredient in my training repertoire that will be interesting to experience how it feels while doing these things tomorrow.

I am posting this now to increase the likelihood that I will do it. Also, I would like to document how my perspective changes pre and post events. Much of the struggle is not the physical, but the mental gymnastics that I go through trying to get through the day and the week of training and exercise. Dealing with the unknown outcome is another part of this that is difficult. It is so easy to look back and say 'this was great' but prior to the event, there are many more unknown variables that can overwhelm a person (namely me) into inaction.

Computrainer first!

Today I came in second on the Computrainer, out of 6 individuals, and first out of 4 women!! I was very proud of myself. I guess the recent strength training and the addition of the spin classes have really helped. I went in to the class today hoping to find out my maximum heart rate. I just bought my Garmin 310xt, and wanted to see what my heart rate would look like while bicycling.

The psychological hurdle that I had to jump over today was feeling competitive and going with it. It's one thing to be competitive with strangers in a race; it's a whole other ball game to feel competitive with people you like. Part of me wanted to back off, slow down while the other part of me wanted to do the best I possibly could.

Is there is a difference between feeling competitive and wanting to do my best? I think so. I think generally, I wanted to do my best today and since a peer and I were neck and neck, it provided the scenario to push me along in order to stay ahead.

I was having a difficult time writing this entry because I knew I felt great about having done so well/ about having 'won' the race and I also knew that I was feeling 'guilty' and I didn't like that feeling and I couldn't figure out why I was feeling that way. At first I was going to write about all my insecurities but then I resolved to write something inspirational, like a daily meditation : 'today I resolve to not let guilt get in the way of feeling joy in my accomplishments' .

Now I understand, just as I am writing this - that in 'competition' there is only one 'winner'; but when I think of myself as 'trying my best', then there could be more than one person trying their best and it's ok.

Today, it's ok to try my best, and push myself as hard as I can. It's ok for others to do the same. The final outcome is out of our hands.

Short legs

Do I have short legs or am I too wide for my height?

That was the question I posed to myself when I looked at myself in the mirror while wearing my bathing suit. I could only look in the mirror for a few seconds before I had to avert my eyes. I don't think I looked especially horrible, but I've always had a hard time looking in the mirror in any prolonged manner. My butt did appear to be abnormally close to the ground, and my legs - in those split seconds where I went from my butt to my legs and then away - seemed very 'stout'.

I usually keep these kinds of thoughts to myself but fortunately I mentioned them to someone else who is also in the class who reassured me that it's the mirror and not me. I was only half reassured. The other half wondered about folie a deux.

-- lemmefineout - Brooklyn

What's the Alternative?

The other day I started wondering whether I was cut out for doing triathlons - both physically: do I have the stamina; as well as timewise: it is such a big time commitment. Lately it has been very hard to get in the planned workouts due to the weather. Yesterday morning was my scheduled Computrainer class, but did not go due to the snow that had just fallen. i did go running however, so I suppose that was balanced out. Last week I didn't go, probably due to the weather as well, but I don't recall. I was in Florida, visiting my mother for 5 days. I did manage to get 2 runs in, but I did not swim as I had planned - the pool was not open due to the cold weather - it was consistently around 60-65 degrees. I had my wetsuit, but the beach had no lifeguard, so didn't want to risk it.

So, after some missed scheduled workout, I felt bad about myself and pondered the question of whether I was cut out for triathlons. "a real triathlete would have gotten themselves to the Computrainer class"

"a real triathlete would have no fear" - of snow, of falling or getting hit by a car.

I am not sure what the correct response to those statements would be, but A little lightbulb went off in my head when I realized 'what's the alternative?'.

Triathloning is a lifestyle. Having the goal of doing well in a triathlon involves discipline in exercise as well as in nutrition. Triathloning gives me a way of measuring my progress; of focusing my exercise routine to meet the goal of triathlon. Wondering whether I am cut out for triathloning is putting the cart before the horse - 'am I cut out to exercise and eat right?'. The answer is very clear when the question is posed that way.

Question: "Am I cut out for triathloning?"
Answer: "if the answer is no, What's the alternative?"


-- lemmefineout - Brooklyn