My first speed group workout

Last night I went to my first speed group workout thru the tri group I belong to. Prior to going, I came up with so many reasons not to go: my knee hurts; it's drizzling; too cold etc. I went anyway. I thought about my goals for doing well in the Brooklyn Half on May 21, and if I keep on postponing this speedwork, I will not accomplish the goal. Also, the primary REAL reason I was hesitating to go is
because I am not a people person. I do want to be, but it's definitely not my forte. If I were to make a treatment plan and objectives for myself, the first would be to remember people's names. I can be so anxious at times, that the person's name does not even pass through my short term memory synapses. My anxiety blocks the words' entry. Surprisingly, when I got there, I was not as nervous as I would have imagined myself to be. The coach was very nice, she seemed to have been expecting me. I started going through my memory bank looking for when I may have mentioned it to someone. I only seemed to be listening when introduced to the next person, as I shook their hand. Then I was introduced to Larry. Larry was different for me because he's 'famous'. He was actually on NY 1, interviewed on his extensive marathoning history and the fact that he runs home from Central Park after completing the NYC marathon. This Larry was taking the same speed class along with me, where my current personal best (or only best) for a marathon is 6 hours and 45 minutes. And I could barely walk to the subway to go home that day. So here I was, amidst several young, good looking fit guys and one other girl. Now that I think about it, I was the only one over 40. My self concept needs to shift to a more accurate vision of myself. The image I have of myself does not include my age of 49 years, but it does include being fat. The reality is that I'm older and a fairly average size now. Both of those things happened very recently. The ambiance changed once we started stretching. I was pretty balanced while stretching, and proud if it, while some of these guys were grimacing and jesticulating to maintain balance and stretch like 7yo boys with no inhibitions or self-consciousness. One of them even toppled over like the Tower of Pisa when standing too long on one leg. Another gave me words of encouragement at one point and the coach was fabulous - she was doing what I can't do for others - she remembered my name. -- lemmefineout - Brooklyn