NYC Tri Bike/Run leg

I've been trying to write about the b/r part of the triathlon but did not feel very inspired about it. I couldn't think of much besides commenting on all the fallen water bottles in the road and numerous people with flats and possibly, I could have pushed myself more than I did. Then this morning I remembered.

Just as I was starting the bike leg, biking up the hill from the river to the West Side Highway there were many people lining the road cheering us on. Throughout the bike/run portion I must have heard 'Go Brooklyn at least 100 times, probably 1000 times. . But in that one spot, winding up the hill, someone said ' lose weight!'. That one comment tainted the rest of my experience with self-consciousness and a variety of mixed emotions. It is not without irony that there were two former contestants from 'The Biggest Loser' in the triathlon. I saw one of them while waiting for the swim to start. She walked by with a film crew following her. I didn't recognize who she was at the time but she looked at me and smiled. After she passed, the woman I had been chatting with told me who she was.

Am I branded? She looked at me and smiled. I felt good about it at the time, but after the 'lose weight' comment, I spent the rest of the race alternately judging myself and trying to push off any negative thinking or negative feeling. 'Since it's true, then how can I feel bad about the truth?' 'He's on the sidelines, and I'm in a triathlon, so who cares?!'. 'Maybe I look worse than I had thought in this tri suit'. ' He's an ass, I wish I could go back and spit in his face'. 'I'm the one that would get into trouble if I tried to get revenge'. 'I must look pretty bad'. 'he was a jerk'. 'why do I ignore 1000 good cheers and get so impacted by one?

I completed the triathlon. But this is definitely an emotional relapse. There is no worse time than being open to joy and hearing a stupid comment. I have spent too many years remaining shut tight as a drum in order to avoid this kind of thing but only I experience the negative consequences of that.

I will somehow let this pass.






-- lemmefineout - Brooklyn